The Jones Girls

For the past 6 weeks I have been feeling a bit down. The relationship between my mom and me seemed to be distant. I have been feeling a bit rejected by my mom. I haven’t mentioned this to any of you because I didn’t know if it was appropriate, but my heart has been hurting and aching for years about this. My mom moved out of state after I got married 10 years ago. I used to see her a couple of times a year from 1999-2004. When Savannah was born in 2004, she came down for 6 weeks but left early because she missed her boyfriend. She came down again for a few weeks when Savannah was 9 months old and then I didn’t see her for over 22 months after that. When I gave birth to the triplets my mom didn’t come to help me. She didn’t meet the triplets till they were almost a year old in 2007.

I asked her 6 weeks ago if she would come down for my 40th birthday which was on November 29th. She said she didn’t like traveling to see us and that she couldn’t deal with all of the girls. It hurt to hear that. My mom is just not into being a grandma. I felt so stupid for even asking her to come down and I told her to take care of herself and hung up the phone. So for the past 6 weeks it has been really tough. I have been keeping extra busy with Amanda and Maryssa’s surgeries and recoveries, volunteering different parties, play dates, moms socials with my 2 different moms clubs, taking the girls on lots of outings, etc. to try to numb the pain.

I received an e-mail from my mom the day before Thanksgiving telling me her plans for Thanksgiving and to also to wish me a Happy Birthday. It was a simple 2 line e-mail and it sucked. I tell you, I just felt empty. No phone call, no birthday card, NOTHING. Who was this distant person that I call my mom? It just really hurt. I cried in Cliffs arms and cried on and off for a couple of days. I threw myself into making everything from scratch for Thanksgiving. I took the uncarved Halloween pumpkins, cooked them down and froze them to make 7 homemade pumpkin pies with homemade pie crusts on Thanksgiving morning. The day of Thanksgiving, I made pumpkin bread, homemade biscuits, homemade artichoke & spinach dip, my friend Kaye’s corn recipe, my firend Annette’s artichoke recipe, baked the turkey, and made so many more dishes from scratch. I was trying to stay busy by cooking and playing with the girls so I wouldn’t think of how sad I was about the lack of relationship I had with my mom.

The morning of my birthday, 11/29, I was ok. I was so happy to have my husband and girls with me and so grateful for them. Later in the morning I cried really hard and just felt empty. I was thinking of how my mom had gone into labor with me right after Thanksgiving dinner on 11/28/68 and at 4am in the morning on 11/29/68 I was born. I just missed my mom so much and felt so abandoned by her.

My friend called me that morning and invited me out for ice cream. I told her I wanted to treat myself to a pedicure. So we went to do that while Cliff babysat the girls for a couple of hours. We came back at about 2pm. When I got back, Cliff met me at the front door and walked me to the backyard. There was a huge surprise party for me with all of my closest friends and my 2 brothers. Cliff grabbed a microphone and announced he had 2 surprises for me. The first was a special person came to celebrate with me. Slowly I saw a shadow and I couldn’t believe my eyes. It was my mom!! She had bought airline tickets to come visit me 6 weeks ago and wanted to surprise me. All of the 6 weeks of my anguish and pain lifted off of me when she said that she wanted to be here with us and spend almost 3 weeks with us, till 12/16. I almost fainted. Cliff had been planning this party and my mom coming down for over 6 weeks. It was so amazing!! My 2nd surprise was a wonderful band that I really love called Hot August Nights www.HotAugust.comThe singer looks and sounds exactly like Neil Diamond. I am a huge Neil Diamond fan. I got an incredible performance and sat next to my mom, hugged my mom and hugged my husband, my girls, my brothers and my friends so tight. The band gave me an autographed memorabilia T-Shirt and autographed CD as a present for my birthday. My husband has never given me a birthday cake the 10 years we have been married, but he got me one for my big 40th!! It had my favorite colors, white and yellow roses and said Happy 40th Fabulous Kimber. It was just an amazing and unforgettable experience.

I had planned a big family reunion for 12/13 and my mom is going to be here to enjoy it with us!! This is the BEST birthday present ever and I love now being 40!! Woo hoo!!!